The Disconnect Principle: Eliminate difficult conversations with clarity and empathy

The way we traditionally approach feedback, accountability, and performance management often leaves us feeling miserable despite applying all the best practices we have learned.

In The Disconnect Principle, Ann Latham provides a new framework that will change the way you think and let you be the kind of human being you want to be: fair, empathic, and authentic.

Our traditional approach to feedback, accountability, and performance management prevents us from being the kind of human beings we want to be. We carefully prepare scripts that fail us in the heat of the moment. We guard our facial expressions and body language to hide our anxiety, doubt, and compassion. We often feel miserable and rarely accomplish what we hoped, despite our best efforts. We hate feeling mean or insensitive. We'd rather be kind and empathic. But we have to do our job, so ...

But it doesn't have to be that way!

Instead of mastering difficult conversations, eliminate them with the Disconnect Principle!

The Disconnect Principle provides the missing link that will change the way you think about feedback, accountability, and performance management forever. This is the approach that will allow you to be the empathic and effective manager, employee, or peer that you would like to be. This is your opportunity to:

• Replace fear and avoidance with timely, confident action.
• Eliminate painful conversations in favor of mutually agreeable problem solving.
• Put an end to continued or worsening problems and enjoy performance enhancing commitment in its place.
• Build trust and collaboration instead of having conversations that damage relationships, sometimes irreparably.

My epiphany occurred when I debriefed a client following a tough conversation with an employee. Beforehand, I taught him all the best practices for giving feedback, helped him narrow his focus to a specific observed behavior and its impact, talked about how to frame the conversation and what words to avoid, and discussed ways to resolve the problem. He walked into that meeting feeling tall and confident . He walked out in pain. When he told me what happened, the Disconnect Principle was born -- I suddenly recognized what was missing from all the advice we have all learned so well.

The Disconnect Principle itself is remarkably simple.

My clients immediately see the power in this approach and "We have a disconnect" becomes an integral part of their daily language. They quickly appreciate how the Disconnect Principle:

• Shifts the conversation away from judgment
• Avoids triggering defensiveness
• Makes is possible to be objective about what did or didn't happen
• Leads to mutually respectful problem-solving